MEET LAURA BAI, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist
You can honor where you came from without repeating the patterns that keep you stuck.
I’m an Asian American therapist in Oakland, CA helping accomplished adults heal from intergenerational trauma.
You show up and give 110% to everyone else. So, why does it feel like you’re falling short?
You work hard, hold yourself to high standards, and are always looking for what you could do better. There’s always another goal to reach, another way to improve, another thing you should be doing. Even when you accomplish something you’ve worked toward for years, the satisfaction doesn’t last long before the bar moves again.
And you feel safest when you know exactly what comes next. You make the plan, think through every possible outcome, and try to catch problems before they happen. When something doesn’t go according to plan—or you make even a small mistake—your mind can jump straight to everything that could go wrong.
Then, there are the people you love. You’re used to anticipating what they need, showing up when they need you, and putting your own needs aside to avoid disappointing them. Somewhere along the way, taking care of other people became easier than showing up the way you are.
So, you keep achieving, planning, and taking care of everyone around you, even when you’re exhausted underneath it all.
You’re ready to feel like you’re enough, even when you’re not doing, fixing, or taking care of something.
HOW I WORK
I know what it’s like to spend years pushing through.
I’m a former perfectionist. For years, I barely paused to acknowledge one accomplishment before moving on to the next. I pushed past my limits, ignored what my body was telling me, and believed that if I just worked harder, I’d finally feel like I’d done enough.
I also know what it’s like to be separated from a parent at a young age. My mother immigrated to the U.S. before bringing me here, and that early separation shaped me in ways I wouldn’t fully understand until much later. It affected how I experienced safety and connection, and became part of the intergenerational trauma I would eventually begin to understand and heal.
My own healing journey taught me something that now deeply shapes the way I work: Understanding a pattern isn’t the same as being free from it.
Through mindfulness, parts work, and deeper trauma work, I learned to reconnect with my body, honor my limits, and recognize the beliefs driving so much of my striving—that achievement meant worth, control meant safety, and sacrifice meant love.
I also learned that healing didn’t require rejecting the patterns that helped me, and generations before me, survive. It meant appreciating where they came from while learning that I could respond with more choice, rather than automatically falling into the patterns that once protected me.
That’s what I want our work to make possible for you, too: the freedom to let go of what no longer serves you and create more room for balance, joy, and connection.
MEET LAURA
Hear from me before we meet.
A 20-second introduction to who I work with and how we can work together.
My Specialties & Methods
Anxiety
Quiet the constant overthinking and self-doubt so you can feel more grounded, confident, and at ease in your everyday life.
Depression
Reconnect with yourself and what matters to you so you can move beyond simply going through the motions and feel more present.
Perfectionism
Loosen the pressure to always get it right so your sense of worth no longer depends on how much you achieve or how well you perform.
Attachment-Focused EMDR
Process painful experiences and deeply held beliefs from the past so they no longer have to shape how you see yourself and respond in the present.
Burnout
Learn to recognize and honor your limits, recover from chronic stress, and create a life that leaves room for your needs.
Relationship Conflicts
Understand the patterns beneath recurring conflict so you can communicate more openly, set healthier boundaries, and feel more secure in your relationships
Parts Work
Understand the different parts of yourself with curiosity and compassion, so the ones that learned to criticize, control, or push you can begin to feel safer.
Somatic Therapy
Reconnect with your body and nervous system to shift deeply rooted patterns and create change you can actually feel.
Couples Therapy
Recognize the cycles keeping you and your partner disconnected, repair old hurts, and build a relationship where you both feel seen, understood, and supported.
Training & education
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MA in Somatic Psychology, California Institute of Integral Studies, 2018
Center of Somatic Psychotherapy Associateship, 2017-2018
Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist, California - LMFT #126650
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Attachment-Focused EMDR Training, Parnell Institute, 2022
Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy Externship, ICEEFT, 2023
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California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists (CAMFT)
Asian Mental Health Collective
What colleagues say
“I've had the pleasure of working with Laura Bai, LMFT, and regularly refer clients to her because she is truly an exceptional therapist. Laura brings deep skill and insight to individual therapy, family therapy, and parent training, and she does so with warmth, cultural humility, and a sharp understanding of family dynamics. She's especially gifted at working with people of all ages and backgrounds, and she supports both parents and children with compassion and clarity.
As a colleague, I’ve also seen how seamlessly Laura integrates into care teams—collaborating with other providers in a way that centers the client and promotes healing. If you're looking for a thoughtful, experienced therapist in Oakland, I can't recommend Laura highly enough.”
The patterns you inherited don’t have to define the life you create.
Offering therapy in-person in Oakland & virtually throughout California
I bring 10+ years of clinical experience, and offer sessions in English and Mandarin.