Couples Therapy

Relationship Counseling for Asian-American Couples in Oakland and throughout California

Are you and your partner struggling with communication, feeling disconnected, or caught in recurring patterns of conflict? I provide specialized couples therapy and relationship counseling in Oakland, CA and throughout California, with a deep understanding of the unique experiences faced by Asian-American couples and families. My approach combines evidence-based therapeutic methods with recognition of intergenerational experiences and the complex navigation between cultural worlds.
As a couples therapist who understands the journey of 1.5 and second generation Asian-Americans, I help couples build stronger, more authentic relationships while honoring family expectations and creating space for their own values and dreams.

Comprehensive Couples Therapy

The Couples Therapy Journey

Instead of the loving relationship you long for, you feel frustrated, alone, and increasingly hopeless. Underneath the surface, you may both be struggling with intergenerational trauma that shows up as persistent cycles of conflict and disconnection. I integrate multiple therapeutic modalities to help you to uncover the root causes of these negative cycles, considering you and your partner’s unique cultural and family backgrounds, relationship patterns, and personal goals. In couples therapy, we will repair and nurture your relationship so that you both feel connected and fulfilled.

  • Identify the negative cycles that cause miscommunication and conflict, starting with triggers in your daily life 

  • Learn new tools and practices that help you de-escalate disagreements, regulate your emotions, and reduce further conflicts 

  • Recognize and express your deeper feelings and needs, and listen to and accept those of your partner 

  • Find new solutions to old conflicts together by practicing new approaches to communication and collaboration

  • Rebuild connection, trust, and intimacy so that you both feel seen, accepted, and loved in your partnership

Evidence-Based Therapeutic Modalities

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) Emotionally Focused Therapy helps couples understand and express deeper emotional needs while identifying relationship patterns that feel stuck. Through EFT, I can help you and your partner recognize how your emotional responses might be creating distance and develop new ways of expressing vulnerability and creating emotional safety within the unique context of your personal, relational, and cultural experiences.

Somatic Therapy My training in somatic therapy allows me to incorporate body-based awareness into couples therapy. Many relationship patterns are held in our nervous systems and physical responses to stress. This approach is particularly valuable if you and your partner are carrying the physical imprint of intergenerational trauma or navigating the somatic impact of your experiences.

Parts Work and Family Systems I can help you and your partner understand different aspects of yourselves that show up in the relationship, while recognizing how extended family systems, cultural expectations, and differences in values influence your partnership. This work often involves exploring the parts of yourselves that prioritize connection alongside the parts that seek individual fulfillment.

Relationship Struggles I Address in Couples Therapy

My couples therapy practice addresses a wide range of relationship issues and personal struggles that impact relationships:

  • Communication Difficulties: Learning to express needs clearly while navigating different personal and cultural approaches to conflict

  • Anxiety and Depression: Understanding how mental health struggles affect relationship dynamics, particularly when cultural stigma creates additional barriers

  • Perfectionism: Addressing the weight of personal and external expectations and their impact on the relationship

  • Disconnection and Dissociation: Rebuilding emotional and physical intimacy when blocks in emotional expression create barriers

  • Caretaking and Codependency: Establishing healthy boundaries when cultural values emphasize sacrifice and prioritizing others’ needs

  • Guilt and Shame: Processing the complex emotions that impact self-worth and openness to love and connection

  • Burnout: Balancing demanding careers with relationship needs while managing external expectations about success

  • Relationship Conflicts: Uncovering the deeper feelings and unmet needs underlying recurring conflicts

The Benefits of Couples Therapy with Cultural Understanding

Enhanced Communication and Understanding

Through our couples therapy journey, you'll develop stronger communication skills and deeper mutual understanding. Many couples discover how cultural background shapes communication styles and learn to bridge different approaches to expressing needs and emotions. This leads to significantly improved relationship satisfaction and reduced relationship distress.

Improved Conflict Resolution Skills

Rather than avoiding conflicts or falling into destructive patterns, you'll learn healthy ways to navigate differences and resolve conflicts constructively. These skills become valuable tools you can use throughout your relationship, especially when cultural values around harmony and family peace create complex dynamics.

Identity Integration and Authenticity

For couples navigating the space between cultures, therapy provides particular benefits related to identity integration and authentic self-expression. You'll gain greater understanding of how your cultural experiences influence your relationship while finding ways to honor family heritage alongside your own evolving values and dreams.

Restored Intimacy and Connection

Many couples find that relationship counseling helps them reconnect on both emotional and physical levels. By addressing underlying barriers—including cultural messages about emotional expression, gender roles, or family loyalty—and developing emotional safety, partners often experience renewed closeness and create a stronger relationship foundation.

What to Expect from the Couples Therapy Process

Free Initial Consultation

I offer a free 20-minute consultation to help determine if my approach aligns with your relationship needs and goals. During this conversation, we'll discuss your and your partner’s current challenges and questions about the therapy process.

This consultation allows you and your partner to understand my therapeutic style while giving me an opportunity to assess how I might best support your relationship through couples counseling.

Intake Process and First Few Sessions

After deciding to move forward with couples therapy, you'll complete standard documentation through my client portal. During our first session, we'll get to know each other while I learn about your relationship issues and hopes for change.

These first few sessions are crucial for building trust and establishing our therapeutic relationship. I create a safe space where both partners feel heard and understood, particularly important when cultural dynamics may have created patterns of not feeling fully seen or accepted.

Ongoing Therapy Sessions

Therapy sessions are generally scheduled at consistent weekly or bi-weekly times, providing stability and momentum in your therapeutic journey. Each session offers dedicated time to focus exclusively on your relationship without daily distractions.

Sometimes I may suggest practices or exercises to reinforce the practices and communication skills we're developing in therapy sessions. These might include mindfulness practices, communication experiments, or ways of meeting each other’s needs. This helps you integrate therapeutic insights and progress into your daily relationship.

Progress and Ongoing Support

Throughout our work together, I regularly check in about your progress and adjust my approach based on what's working best. The therapy process is collaborative, and your feedback guides the direction of our couples counseling work as we navigate the unique aspects of your relationship.

Understanding Asian-American Relationship Dynamics

Navigating Intergenerational Expectations

Many Asian-American couples find themselves balancing respect for family traditions with creating their own authentic partnership. I understand the complexity of honoring parents' sacrifices and dreams while building a relationship that reflects your own values and aspirations. This work often involves exploring how family-of-origin patterns show up in your partnership and finding ways to maintain connection with family while establishing healthy boundaries.

Identity Navigation in Relationships

1.5 and second generation Asian-Americans often face unique challenges related to cultural identity that directly impact romantic relationships. You might find yourselves navigating questions about career priorities, family involvement in relationship decisions, or how to blend different cultural approaches to conflict, intimacy, or future planning. I help couples explore these identity questions together, recognizing that both partners may be on their own journey of cultural integration.

Understanding Cultural Stress and Pressure

The pressure to succeed, care for aging parents, maintain family well-being, or represent your culture well can create significant stress that impacts relationships. I work with couples to understand these pressures while developing approaches that honor important cultural values without sacrificing individual authenticity or relationship health.

Family Systems and Relationship Dynamics

Asian-American couples often navigate complex family systems where boundaries, decision-making, and loyalty operate differently than in more individualistic cultural contexts. I help couples understand how these family dynamics influence their relationship while finding ways to maintain important family connections alongside building their own partnership foundation.

Online and In-Person Therapy Options

I offer both online and in-person therapy sessions to provide flexibility for couples with varying needs and preferences. Both formats are highly effective for couples counseling.

In-Person Sessions in my Oakland office provide opportunity for deeper connection and reading nonverbal cues. The therapy room offers a neutral, private space where you can focus entirely on your relationship, away from the various external pressures you may face at home.

Online Sessions offer convenience and flexibility, particularly valuable for busy couples managing demanding careers and family obligations. You’ll find online sessions to be comfortable and effective from the comfort of your own home.

Who I Work With

My Ideal Clients

I work primarily with Asian-American couples who are committed to personal and relational growth. Many of my clients are 1.5 and second generation Asian-Americans who are building careers while navigating complex family dynamics and cultural expectations.

My clients often describe feeling caught between worlds—breaking the cycle of negative intergenerational patterns while creating space for their own values and dreams. They value building a healthy relationship that bridges different cultural approaches to love, commitment, and partnership.

Types of Couples

I work with various types of couples seeking to strengthen their relationships through couples therapy:

  • Couples in healthy relationships wanting to deepen their connection while navigating cultural complexity

  • Partners experiencing relationship distress who want to repair their bond

  • Couples dealing with family pressure or external expectations about their relationship

  • Partners struggling with communication patterns influenced by cultural differences and intergenerational patterns

Additional Care Options

Individual Sessions

I also offer individual therapy sessions when appropriate for the therapeutic process. Sometimes individual sessions complement couples work, particularly when one partner needs additional support exploring personal struggles related to cultural identity, family relationships, or mental health concerns impacting the relationship.

Family Therapy

As a therapist trained in family therapy, I work with families navigating relationship challenges, cultural dynamics, or intergenerational patterns. Family therapy can be particularly valuable for Asian-American families dealing with generational differences, cultural identity questions, or communication patterns that create distance rather than connection.

Getting Started with Couples Therapy

Taking the First Step

Beginning couples therapy starts with having an open conversation with your partner about seeking professional support. Sometimes one partner is more enthusiastic about couples therapy than the other, which is completely normal. The key is getting on the same page about seeking help together to repair and strengthen your relationship.

Investment in Your Relationship

My practice operates on a private-pay basis, which means you're investing directly in your relationship's health and growth. I understand that this investment represents a significant commitment, particularly when cultural values emphasize financial responsibility to family. During our initial consultation, I'll discuss scheduling and investment details so you can make an informed decision about moving forward.

What Happens Next

When you're ready to explore couples therapy, begin with my free 20-minute consultation. If we decide to work together, we'll schedule your first session and you'll complete intake paperwork. From there, we'll begin the collaborative process of strengthening your relationship while honoring the complexities that makes your partnership unique.

Commitment to Growth

Couples therapy works best when both partners commit to attending sessions regularly and engaging openly in the therapeutic process. Most couples benefit from at least 6 months of consistent work to create lasting changes and achieve their goals for the relationship.

Why Choose My Couples Therapy Practice

Personal Understanding

My background allows me to bring deep personal understanding to the challenges Asian-American couples face. I have lived experience of the weight of family expectations, the complexity of intergenerational patterns showing up in the relationship, and the unique pressures that high-achieving individuals face when building intimate relationships.

Comprehensive Approach

My integration of multiple therapeutic modalities—including Emotionally Focused Therapy, somatic therapy, parts work, and family systems understanding—allows me to address relationships challenges from multiple angles for comprehensive healing that honors both individual growth and cultural context.

Relationship-Centered Care

Every couple receives personalized care that addresses their specific relationship patterns, cultural background, and hopes for their future together. I don't believe in one-size-fits-all approaches to couples counseling, particularly given the rich diversity within Asian-American experiences.

Proven Results

Couples therapy has been shown to be highly effective for improving relationship satisfaction, enhancing communication skills, and reducing relationship distress. Many couples report significant improvements in their connection and overall relationship health, particularly when therapy addresses both relationship dynamics and cultural factors.

FAQs

  • Every couple's timeline is different, but most couples benefit from at least 6 months of consistent weekly or bi-weekly sessions to create lasting changes and develop new patterns.

  • I work with couples experiencing relationship distress, but I do not provide crisis care. My focus is on helping couples develop long-term skills and understanding for sustainable relationship health.

  • It's common for one partner to be more enthusiastic about couples counseling initially, especially when cultural values emphasize handling problems within the relationship. My free consultation can help both partners understand the process and benefits.

  • When this issue comes up, I help couples navigate family expectations and pressure while building their own authentic partnership foundation. I help you as partners get aligned on your relationship direction and goals, and discuss tools and strategies to effectively communicate with your families.

Take the Next Step Toward a Stronger Relationship

If you're ready to transform your relationship, I invite you to schedule a free consultation. Together, we can explore how couples therapy can help you create the authentic, fulfilling relationship you both desire while honoring your personal and cultural background.

Contact me today to begin your journey toward a deeper connection with your partner through couples therapy in Oakland, CA and throughout California.