Attachment-Focused EMDR
In Oakland, CA
Healing Intergenerational Trauma for Asian-Americans
As an Attachment-Focused EMDR therapist in Oakland, I specialized care for Asian-American adults navigating the complexities of intergenerational trauma, family expectations, and relationship challenges. My approach to healing combines the proven effectiveness of AF-EMDR therapy with a deep understanding of what it means to bridge different cultures.
If you're a 1.5 or second generation Asian-American struggling with perfectionism, anxiety, depression, or relationship difficulties, AF-EMDR may offer the healing you've been seeking. This approach addresses not just symptoms, but the underlying attachment wounds, relational patterns, and intergenerational trauma that often drive emotional distress.
What is Attachment-Focused EMDR?
AF-EMDR is a specialized form of EMDR therapy that focuses on attachment wounds and early relationship patterns that continue to impact your life today. Unlike traditional EMDR, this method recognizes that healing relational trauma requires a strong therapeutic relationship and understanding of the cultural context that shaped your early experiences.
This form of care integrates attachment theory with the proven techniques of EMDR therapy, including bilateral stimulation, desensitization and trauma reprocessing. The result is a powerful approach to healing relational and intergenerational trauma that addresses both individual painful memories and broader patterns of how you connect with others.
In my work with Asian-American adults, I've found AF EMDR particularly helpful for those navigating the space between honoring family expectations and creating your own path. Many clients describe feeling caught between the values they grew up with and the life they want to build, struggling with questions like "Am I being selfish?" or "How do I respect my parents while also taking care of myself?" This approach supports emotional regulation, secure attachment patterns, and enhanced self awareness while honoring the complexity of your identity.
My Approach to Healing Intergenerational Trauma
As an AF-EMDR therapist who deeply understands the Asian-American experience, I recognize that your family history, immigration story, and the delicate balance of bridging different cultures all contribute to your attachment patterns and emotional struggles. My approach goes beyond addressing symptoms to heal the underlying attachment wounds that impact your relationships and well-being.
Understanding Your Experience
I understand the unique weight of being the bridge between generations - translating not just language, but entire worldviews for your family while trying to figure out your own identity. You feel responsible for your parents' well-being, carry guilt about their sacrifices, or struggle with the pressure to be "successful" in ways that may not align with your true desires.
The emotional toll of navigating external expectations, career pressures, and family obligations while also wanting to form authentic relationships and express your individual needs creates complex patterns that often show up as:
Perfectionism that feels both protective and exhausting
Difficulty setting boundaries without feeling guilty
Anxiety about disappointing others while neglecting your own needs
Struggles with emotional intimacy and vulnerability
Feeling like you're never "enough" in any context
Personalized Approach
Every client's journey with AF-EMDR is unique, shaped by your individual experiences, your family's immigration story, and the particular ways cultural expectations have influenced your relationships. I tailor each session to your individual needs, always respecting the complexity of your identity and experiences.
How Attachment-Focused EMDR Works
My approach to AF-EMDR differs from traditional EMDR by emphasizing the therapeutic relationship as central to healing attachment wounds. During our AF-EMDR sessions, I guide you through a carefully structured process that prioritizes your safety and emotional well-being.
The AF-EMDR Process
Our work together follows a thoughtfully modified version of the standard EMDR protocol, adapted specifically for attachment-related concerns:
Preparation and Resource Building: We begin by establishing safety, developing inner resources, and creating a space where you feel truly seen and understood
Assessment and Processing: Using bilateral stimulation and eye movement desensitization, we gently process specific painful memories and attachment wounds
Integration and Growth: We work to integrate healing insights and develop healthier patterns for future relationships
Gentle, Personalized Techniques
I incorporate various approaches tailored specifically to your needs, including:
Resource Tapping for emotional regulation and self-soothing
Parts Work to explore different aspects of your identity - the dutiful child, the independent adult, the cultural bridge-builder
Somatic awareness to reconnect with your nervous system and body wisdom
Integration work that honors your heritage while supporting your personal growth
What You Can Expect from This Work
Clients who engage in AF-EMDR often experience meaningful shifts in multiple areas of their lives. This approach addresses not just symptoms, but the underlying attachment patterns and intergenerational trauma that contribute to ongoing struggles.
Emotional Healing and Self-Compassion
Through AF-EMDR therapy, many clients develop greater emotional regulation and the ability to be kinder to themselves. You might notice feeling less overwhelmed by family expectations, more able to navigate relationships without losing yourself, and more empowered to tend to your needs without feeling selfish.
The bilateral stimulation and processing techniques help your nervous system release old patterns while building resilience and self-awareness. Many clients describe feeling more "at home in their own skin" and less vigilance about others' approval.
Deeper, More Authentic Relationships
As we address attachment wounds and early relationship patterns, clients often discover an increased capacity for genuine intimacy and connection. This might show up as better communication with family members where you finally feel heard and understood, romantic relationships where you can be vulnerable without losing yourself, or friendships where you don't constantly worry about being "too much" or "not enough."
The development of more secure attachment patterns often means feeling more confident in your relationships while also being able to maintain healthy boundaries.
Cultural Integration and Self-Acceptance
Many clients find that AF-EMDR helps them integrate the different parts of their identity with less internal conflict. Instead of feeling torn between family expectations and living your own life, you discover ways to honor your family's sacrifices while also pursuing your own dreams. This process often leads to greater self-acceptance and confidence in navigating multiple cultural contexts.
Relief from Common Struggles
This approach effectively addresses patterns that many Asian-American adults experience:
The weight of perfectionism and fear of disappointing others
Anxiety due to conflicts between family expectations and your own desires
Feelings of guilt when prioritizing your own needs
Patterns of overworking or overgiving to prove your worth
Difficulty with emotional expression and vulnerability
The exhaustion of feeling responsible for everyone else's well-being
What to Expect in Your Healing Journey
Initial Consultation
Our work begins with a free 20-minute consultation where we discuss your concerns, hopes, and how AF-EMDR might support your healing journey. This conversation helps me understand your unique story and family background while allowing you to assess whether my approach feels like a good fit for you.
Getting to Know Each Other
During our first full session, I take time to understand your history, including your family's immigration story, cultural experiences, and current struggles. We identify your attachment patterns, discuss what's been helping you cope, and establish your personal "safe place" resource for managing emotional overwhelm during AF-EMDR sessions.
The Healing Process
Our sessions are typically scheduled weekly or bi-weekly, providing the consistency essential to your healing journey. We will hold integration sessions between AF-EMDR sessions, enabling the healing process to settle into your nervous system. Throughout our work with AF-EMDR, you can expect:
A therapeutic relationship where all aspects of your identity are fully seen and honored
Development of inner resources and emotional regulation skills
Gentle processing of difficult memories using bilateral stimulation
Integration work to allow healing to transform your current life and relationships
Ongoing support as you develop healthier patterns
Between Sessions
I may suggest gentle practices that reinforce our work, including mindfulness exercises, journaling, or resource-building activities that support your mental health between our meetings. These are always offered as invitations, never requirements, and we adjust based on what feels helpful to you.
Common Struggles I Help With Through AF-EMDR
My approach to AF-EMDR therapy is particularly helpful for addressing:
Relationship and Attachment Patterns:
Attachment wounds and early relationship struggles
Difficulty trusting others while fearing abandonment
Patterns of caretaking or overgiving to maintain connections
Challenges with emotional intimacy and vulnerability
Communication struggles within family relationships
Emotional and Mental Health Struggles:
Anxiety that feels tied to disappointing others
Depression that comes with feeling disconnected or not belonging
Perfectionism that feels both protective and exhausting
Shame around not being "good enough"
Burnout from carrying everyone else's emotions and expectations
Cultural and Identity Challenges:
Feeling caught between honoring family and being yourself
Guilt around pursuing your own dreams or desires
The weight of being the "successful one" in your family
Struggles with expressing emotions in healthy ways
Difficulty setting boundaries without feeling selfish
The exhaustion of constantly translating between two worlds
Why Work With Me
Deep Understanding of Your Experience
I understand what it's like to carry the weight of intergenerational trauma while trying to build your own life. The internal battles of wondering if you're being ungrateful when you want something different, the constant self-criticism that says you're never enough, and the loneliness of feeling like you don't fully belong in either world - these are lived realities I see and honor in my work and my own life.
Specialized Knowledge in AF-EMDR and Intergenerational Trauma
My expertise in intergenerational trauma and AF-EMDR therapy allows me to provide integrated care that addresses the complex nature of relational wounds and patterns that developed over generations. This dual focus means we can work with both the specific memories that still hurt and the broader patterns that keep showing up in your relationships.
Personalized Care
I recognize that healing is deeply personal and culturally specific. Every support plan is tailored to your individual needs, background, and hopes for the future. There's no one-size-fits-all approach - just compassionate care that meets you exactly where you are.
Comprehensive Support
Beyond AF-EMDR, I offer complementary approaches including Somatic Therapy, Parts Worm, Couples Therapy, and Family Therapy, allowing for integrated care that addresses all aspects of your well-being and relationships.
Additional Ways I Can Support You
While AF-EMDR is a cornerstone of my practice, I also provide other approaches that complement this work:
Somatic Therapy: Reconnecting with your body's wisdom and processing experiences that may be held in physical tension or disconnection
Parts Work: Exploring and integrating different aspects of your cultural and personal identity in a way that feels authentic to you
Couples Therapy: Helping partners navigate cultural differences, family expectations, and building secure relationships together
Family Therapy: Addressing generational patterns and improving communication across cultural and generational divides
Begin Your Healing Journey
If you're ready to address persistent patterns of anxiety, depression, perfectionism, or relationship struggles, I invite you to take the first step. AF-EMDR offers a path to healing that honors who you are while providing effective support for attachment wounds and relational patterns that may be keeping you stuck.
Your journey toward healing and developing more secure, authentic relationships starts with a conversation. During our free consultation, we can explore how AF-EMDR might support your hopes and discuss what care would look like for your unique situation.
As an AF-EMDR therapist committed to serving Asian-American adults in Oakland and more broadly in California, I'm here to provide the compassionate care you deserve. You can break the cycle of intergenerational trauma and thrive in all aspects of your life.
Ready to begin? Reach out today to schedule your free consultation and take the first step toward healing with AF-EMDR therapy that truly understands your experience.