Anxiety Therapy Online & In Oakland, CA
You are enough. And you’re going to be okay.
Feel more grounded, confident, and at ease—even when life feels uncertain. Therapy for busy professionals.
You learned early that there was always “more” you should be doing.
Growing up in an immigrant family, hard work wasn’t just encouraged—it was everything. You saw how much your parents sacrificed to build a life here, and you wanted to make them proud. So, you learned to work hard. Get it right. Be responsible. Don’t complain. Keep going.
You may also have had to grow up quickly: translating, making phone calls, or helping your parents navigate unfamiliar systems. You learned that being capable, prepared, and in control helped keep things okay.
There may not have been much room for your worries or fears, especially when you knew how much your parents were already carrying. So, you learned to stay busy, focus on what you could control, and keep difficult feelings to yourself.
Those ways of coping helped you then. But your mind and body may still act as if it’s your job to prevent everything from going wrong. A mistake makes your stomach drop. Unexpected changes send your mind racing. Rest feels uneasy because there’s always more to do.
You’ve gotten very good at achieving, anticipating, and holding it together. But you’re tired of feeling like everything will fall apart if you don’t.
YOU STILL FEEL IT…
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You’re good at what you do, but you’re constantly questioning whether you’re doing enough—or doing it well enough. One piece of feedback from your boss can send you into a spiral. And the word “no” is virtually nonexistent in your professional life, leaving you overstretched and exhausted.
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You want to make your parents proud, but underneath that desire may be frustration or resentment. One comment can bring back the feeling that who you are—or what you’ve chosen—isn’t quite enough. Part of you still wants their approval. Another part wonders, “Why couldn’t you accept me for who I am?”
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You’re the one who remembers, plans, anticipates, and takes care of everything. You tell yourself it’s easier to just do it yourself, but then you start wondering: Why am I the only one who cares this much? When will someone notice my needs? Eventually, resentment creates cracks in your relationships that grow and break you apart.
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There’s always something you should be doing—and a way you should be doing better. As you cross the finish line of one accomplishment, your mind is already focused on the next one. Rest feels uncomfortable. Mistakes feel catastrophic. And despite everything you’ve accomplished, you’re still waiting to finally feel like you are enough.
Your anxiety is trying to protect you, but it’s going overboard.
My Approach
For many of my clients, anxiety didn’t come out of nowhere. It developed in response to early experiences and intergenerational trauma that taught you achievement meant worth, taking care of others meant love, and staying in control meant safety.
So, rather than treating anxiety as something you need to get rid of, we’ll get curious about it. When does it show up? What happens in your mind and body? What is it afraid might happen if you make a mistake, disappoint someone, or let go of control?
We’ll build tools to help you feel safer in your mind and body, then use Somatic Therapy, Attachment-Focused EMDR, and parts work to gently process the experiences and beliefs underneath these patterns.
As those old beliefs begin to shift, you can start showing up differently—with more room for your needs, more compassion for yourself, and more choice in how you respond.
Anxiety therapy can help you…
Know that you’re worthy of love and respect regardless of what you achieve or, more importantly, what you don’t.
Trust yourself to handle things when they don’t go according to plan, instead of assuming a mistake, setback, or unexpected change means everything is about to fall apart.
Create more ease in your life by letting yourself do less and receive more, without feeling like everything has to be done your way or that you have to carry it all on your own.
Honor your feelings and needs rather than immediately questioning whether you’re overreacting, being too sensitive, or asking for too much.
Set boundaries and say no without being consumed by guilt, or worrying that prioritizing yourself makes you a bad partner, friend, son, daughter, or team member.
Let yourself rest and recharge without feeling like you should be doing something productive or mentally preparing for whatever might go wrong next.
Recognize how hard you’ve worked and how far you’ve come without immediately moving the goalpost or brushing off your accomplishments as something you “should” have been able to do anyway.
Specialized Care for Anxiety
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Anxiety doesn’t just live in your thoughts. You might notice it in the tightness in your chest, the knot in your stomach, the headaches that keep coming back, or the way your whole body tenses when something doesn’t go according to plan.
You may have also learned to push those signals aside—to keep going, stay composed, or focus on what needs to get done instead of what you’re feeling. For some Asian American clients, family or cultural messages about emotions, strength, and putting others first can make it even harder to recognize what your body is trying to tell you.
Somatic therapy helps you slow down and reconnect with those signals. Together, we can use practices like breathing, grounding, and orienting to help your nervous system find more steadiness, so anxiety doesn’t have to take over when something feels uncertain or out of your control.
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Sometimes anxiety makes more sense when you look at what you’ve been through.
Maybe you learned early that making mistakes wasn’t safe, that you needed to keep other people happy, or that being prepared for every possibility was the best way to keep things from going wrong. For many Asian American clients, these patterns can also be connected to intergenerational trauma—the survival strategies, fears, and beliefs passed down through your family.
Attachment-Focused EMDR can help you process the experiences underneath these patterns, so your mind and body don’t have to keep responding as if the same threats are still happening today.
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Sometimes anxiety feels like being pulled in two different directions. One part of you wants to make your own choices, while another worries about disappointing your family. One part knows you don’t have to get everything right, while another still panics at the thought of making a mistake.
For Asian Americans, these conflicts can also come up around family expectations, cultural values, and figuring out what you want while staying connected to the people you love.
Parts work helps you get curious about these different sides of yourself and understand what they’re trying to protect you from. Over time, the parts that learned to criticize, worry, or keep everything under control can begin to feel safer.
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Anxiety can show up in your closest relationships, too. You may find yourself getting caught in the same arguments with your partner, feeling responsible for keeping everyone happy, or struggling to express what you need without worrying about disappointing someone you love.
For Asian American families, these tensions can also involve differences in culture, generation, and expectations around family, responsibility, and sacrifice. I understand how complicated it can feel to want to honor the people you love while also wanting more room to be yourself.
In couples and family therapy, we’ll work to understand the patterns keeping you stuck and find new ways to communicate, support one another, and stay connected without losing yourself in the process.yourself in the process.
ONLINE THERAPY FOR ANXIETY IN OAKLAND, CALIFORNIA
You can feel safe without having everything figured out.
Frequently Asked Questions
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Anxiety therapy is a collaborative process where you work with a therapist to understand the roots of your worry, tension, and overwhelm. Together, we explore the patterns that keep anxiety present in your life, whether they stem from family dynamics, cultural pressures, perfectionism, or past experiences. The goal is not just to manage symptoms but to help you feel more grounded, connected to yourself, and free to live according to your own values.
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You don’t have to wait until anxiety becomes debilitating to get support. If you’re constantly overthinking, putting pressure on yourself, struggling to relax, or feeling like you’re reaching a breaking point, therapy can help you understand what’s driving those patterns and find a different way forward.
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You can have a career, relationship, friendships, and stability you worked hard for—and still feel anxious, overwhelmed, or like you’re waiting for something to go wrong.
For many of my clients, anxiety has less to do with what’s happening right now and more to do with patterns their minds and bodies learned much earlier. Understanding those patterns and healing the intergenerational trauma underneath them can help you feel safer and more at ease in the life you have now.
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Many of my clients come to me with a lot of insight. They can explain where their perfectionism or self-criticism came from, but that understanding hasn’t changed how they feel when they make a mistake, receive criticism, or disappoint someone. My approach incorporates Somatic Therapy, parts work, and Attachment-Focused EMDR to help connect that cognitive understanding with emotional and nervous system change.
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If you learned early to be responsible, anticipate other people’s needs, or keep things running smoothly, taking care of everyone can start to feel like part of who you are. You may genuinely love being dependable while also feeling exhausted or resentful that no one seems to take care of you. Therapy can help you make room for your own needs without abandoning the relationships and values that matter to you.
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Anxiety may feel like it’s simply part of who you are, especially if you’ve lived with it for a long time. But the underlying patterns and intergenerational trauma can change and heal. The goal is to help you feel safer, more flexible, and more able to trust yourself when life doesn’t go exactly according to plan.
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Intergenerational trauma can shape what a family learns about safety, success, emotions, and relationships. You may have inherited messages about working hard, staying in control, putting others first, or preparing for the worst—even when the circumstances that originally made those strategies necessary have changed.
Therapy can help you understand what you’re carrying and begin to respond in ways that feel more true to the life you’re living now.
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Each session is tailored to what you need in that moment. Sometimes we focus on understanding the origins of your anxiety, exploring how family history or cultural expectations have shaped your nervous system. Other times, we work on building skills to help you feel more regulated and present. I draw from approaches like somatic therapy, parts work, and attachment focused EMDR, always adapting to what feels most supportive for you.
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There is no single timeline that applies to everyone. Some people begin to notice shifts within a few weeks, while others benefit from longer term support to address deeper patterns. The pace of your healing depends on many factors, including your goals, your history, and the roots of your anxiety. I work with you to regularly check in on your progress and adjust our approach as needed.
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Yes, anxiety and perfectionism often go hand in hand, especially for those who grew up with high expectations from family or within cultures that emphasize achievement. In our work together, we explore where these patterns come from and how they may have once served you. From there, we work toward helping you set boundaries, tolerate imperfection, and define success on your own terms rather than by external standards.
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I offer both online and in person sessions for anxiety therapy. Online sessions are available throughout California, making it easier to access support no matter where you are in the state. In person sessions are available in Oakland. Many clients appreciate the flexibility of choosing the format that fits their schedule and comfort level.
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My approach to anxiety therapy is integrative and personalized. I draw from attachment focused EMDR, somatic therapy, parts work, and emotionally focused therapy, depending on what resonates most with you. For some clients, exploring how anxiety lives in the body is most helpful. For others, understanding how family patterns and early experiences shaped their nervous system brings the most relief. We work together to find what fits.
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While talk therapy can be valuable, my approach goes beyond conversation to include the body, the nervous system, and the deeper layers of your experience. I pay close attention to how anxiety shows up physically and relationally, not just cognitively. I also bring an understanding of how cultural background, immigration experiences, and family dynamics can shape anxiety in ways that mainstream approaches sometimes overlook.
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The first session is a chance for us to get to know each other. I will ask about what brought you to therapy, your history, and what you hope to get from our work together. You are welcome to share as much or as little as feels comfortable. My goal is for you to leave feeling heard and with a clearer sense of how we might work together moving forward.
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Getting started is simple. I offer a free 20 minute consultation where we can talk about what you're experiencing and whether my approach might be a good fit for you. If we decide to move forward, you will complete some standard paperwork through my client portal before your first session. From there, we schedule a time that works for you and begin the work together.
Laura Bai is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist based in Oakland, CA, specializing in somatic therapy for Asian Americans. Her practice focuses on healing intergenerational trauma, which often manifests as anxiety, perfectionism, burnout, and relationship issues. Utilizing evidence-based modalities such as Attachment-Focused EMDR, Parts Work, and Somatic Therapy, Laura helps individuals, couples, and families break harmful cycles and build emotional resilience in both their personal relationships and careers.