In-person & Online EMDR Therapy in Oakland, CA
Understanding your patterns is one thing—actually changing them is another.
Move beyond insight to create deeper emotional and embodied change.
You know what’s happening. But in the moment, it still takes over.
Maybe you’ve been in therapy before. You understand where your patterns come from and can explain exactly why you respond the way you do. But knowing why hasn’t necessarily changed how you feel—or what happens in real time.
You Still…
Reread a small piece of feedback from your boss five times…wondering what they really meant and whether they’re starting to question your abilities.
Feel your stomach drop when you realize you made a mistake… even when part of you knows it’s minor, fixable, and probably won’t matter tomorrow.
Get pulled into the same argument with your partner… going from “Why didn’t you do this?” to “Why do I have to do everything?” before you realize you’re back in the same cycle.
Automatically take care of what everyone else needs… then wonder why no one seems to notice that you’re overwhelmed—or asks what you need.
Book every spare second in your calendar to avoid the bad feelings… only to find yourself crying, snapping at your loved ones, and feeling completely overwhelmed.
Keep adding responsibilities to your plate even though you’re already burnt out… because saying no somehow feels worse than figuring out how to do one more thing.
It’s time for what you know to change how you feel.
My Approach
Attachment-Focused Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) helps connect what you know rationally with what you feel emotionally and in your body.
The responses you’re struggling with aren’t stored only in your thoughts. Past experiences shape how you respond emotionally and physically—how your body reacts to criticism, conflict, mistakes, or the possibility of disappointing someone.
Together, we’ll work with the experiences that shaped how you see yourself, other people, and the world so they don’t keep dictating how you respond today.
Using bilateral stimulation, such as tapping or repetitive sounds, I’ll support you in processing unresolved emotions and releasing beliefs that no longer serve you.
We can’t change what happened in the past. But we can change how you relate to it and how it affects you today.
What does Attachment-Focused EMDR look like?
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During our first few sessions, we’ll talk about what’s bringing you to therapy, what you’d like to change, and the experiences that have shaped you. We’ll also make sure Attachment-Focused EMDR feels like the right fit for where you are right now.
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Before we begin processing difficult experiences, we’ll strengthen the tools and internal resources that help you feel grounded and regulate your emotions and nervous system. There’s no rush to move into deeper work before you’re ready.
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Together, we’ll identify past experiences connected to what you’re struggling with today. You don’t need a perfectly clear memory—we can begin with an image, emotion, belief, or body sensation. From there, we’ll work at a pace that allows you to stay connected to yourself as difficult emotions and experiences come up.
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As you process these experiences, beliefs you’ve carried for years—I’m not enough. I have to be perfect. It’s my job to keep everyone happy. I’m not safe unless I’m in control—can begin to feel less true. You can make peace with what happened without pretending it was okay, and begin to see yourself, other people, and the world through a different lens.
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We’ll have integration sessions between EMDR sessions to help you practice new ways of responding in your everyday life and relationships. Over time, what emerges through EMDR starts to feel less like something you understand in therapy and more like something you genuinely embody and experience.
Attachment-Focused EMDR can help you…
Feel worthy of love and belonging as you are, rather than feeling like you have to earn it through achievement, perfection, or taking care of everyone else.
Give yourself more grace when you make a mistake, instead of immediately falling into shame, self-blame, or questioning whether you’re good enough.
Set boundaries without being consumed by guilt, trusting that you can say no, have needs, or disappoint someone and still be loved.
Feel safer when you don’t have all the answers, knowing you can handle uncertainty, change, and things not going according to plan.
Trust that your feelings and needs matter, rather than automatically questioning them, suppressing them, or putting everyone else first.
Stay connected to yourself when difficult emotions come up, instead of becoming overwhelmed, shutting down, or needing to push them away.
Feel more at peace with your past, so old experiences have less power over how you see yourself, your relationships, and what you expect from the world today.
How Attachment-Focused EMDR helps…
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You may know logically that one mistake isn’t the end of the world, or that you can’t prepare for every possible outcome. But your mind and body can still react as if something is seriously wrong.
Attachment-Focused EMDR can help you process the experiences that taught you that being perfect, prepared, or in control was what kept you safe. Over time, you can feel more secure in yourself and trust that you’ll be okay even when you don’t know exactly what comes next.
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Depression doesn’t always look like being unable to get out of bed. You may still be working, taking care of other people, and doing everything you’re supposed to do while feeling disconnected, unmotivated, or unsure what you actually want.
Attachment-Focused EMDR can help you work through experiences that shaped how you learned to relate to your feelings, needs, and sense of self. As those old beliefs begin to shift, you can reconnect with what matters to you and feel more present in a life that feels like your own.'
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Part of you may know that no one gets everything right. But when you make a mistake, your mind immediately points out what you should have done differently or tells you that you need to work harder next time.
Attachment-Focused EMDR can help you process the experiences behind beliefs like I have to be perfect to be enough or My worth depends on what I accomplish. You can begin to give yourself more grace, genuinely feel proud of how far you’ve come, and know that your worth doesn’t disappear when you fall short.
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You may be used to pushing yourself past your limits, taking care of everyone else, and telling yourself you’ll rest once everything is finally done. Slowing down can even bring up guilt or anxiety when you’re spent years believing that your value comes from what you do for other people.
Attachment-Focused EMDR can help you understand and process where those beliefs came from, so you don’t have to keep proving your worth through doing more. You can learn to recognize your limits, make room for your own needs, and rest without feeling like you’ve done something wrong.
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You may keep getting pulled into the same painful patterns with the people you love—talking too much, becoming resentful when your needs aren’t noticed, shutting down during conflict, or worrying that setting a boundary will push someone away.
Attachment-Focused EMDR can help you work through earlier relationship experiences that shaped what you learned about love, safety, and connection. As those old wounds begin to heal, you can show up differently in your relationships—expressing what you need, staying connected during difficult moments, and trusting that you can be loved without losing yourself.
EMDR THERAPY ONLINE & IN OAKLAND, CALIFORNIA
You can feel safe being fully yourself.
Frequently Asked Questions
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Attachment-Focused EMDR places particular emphasis on experiences and unmet needs within your early relationships—not only isolated traumatic events. This can make it especially relevant if your struggles developed through repeated experiences over time, such as criticism, emotional disconnection, or feeling responsible for other people’s needs.
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No. You don’t need a detailed or complete memory to begin. Sometimes an image, emotion, belief, or sensation in your body gives us enough information to start exploring what may be connected to something you’re experiencing today.
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During EMDR processing, we may use alternating tapping or sounds while you notice thoughts, emotions, memories, or body sensations that arise. I’ll guide you through the process and help you stay connected to what you’re experiencing as your brain and body works with the material in a new way.
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There isn’t one standard timeline that applies to everyone. We’ll spend the first few sessions getting to know each other and what you want to work on, then move into deeper processing when you feel ready. We’ll go at a pace that feels right for you.
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Yes. EMDR processing is one part of our work together. We’ll also have sessions focused on understanding what you’re experiencing, building emotional and nervous system regulation skills, identifying what we want to work on, and integrating what emerges from EMDR into your life and relationships.